House
by Themasterchef
Summary: a story set after season three. Killian and Emma have a discussion on their favorite actors and actresses, and some interesting names come up. Set in the Test universe of mine, but that story does not have to be read to get this.


**Hi! I hope you all enjoy this short story. It can be seen as existing in the world of my other story, the test. i will post a new chapter of that story soon, for those of you who read it. also at the end of this story i am going to pitch an idea for the new season of once, it's not a spoiler b/c of course i know nothing of what they will do on that show, but if you don't want any ideas put in your head dont read the bold print after this. again, i hope you enjoy this**

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HOUSE: _Need a team here!  
_MARKO_: I have the sedative!  
_CUDDY_: Little late.  
_HOUSE_: [taking the sedative] Just in time.  
_CUDDY_: What did you give him?  
_HOUSE_: Paralytic.  
_CUDDY_: Why would you do that?!  
_HOUSE_: Somebody had to stop the screaming.  
_CUDDY_: Then he's still in pain.  
_HOUSE_: Yeah! But quietly._

"My God, are you watching this show again? You were watching it when I left this morning!" I say exasperated to my sick husband, Killian Jones.

"Exactly, love. You left me in my hour of need! It's not my fault that I had to transfer my love of you into this amazing show. It's better this way anyhow, the show will never leave me."

I just roll my eyes and sit next to him on the bed. He makes a show of scooting away, pretending to have his feelings hurt. How could I, Emma Swan, have ever fallen in love with such an over dramatic pirate?

Smirking, I move closer to him and say, "You know, this show ended years ago. So technically it has left. Forever. I on the other hand will always come back to you." He finally turns towards me, about to say something, but a coughing fit over takes him. My poor baby. But really, he should have known better than to get in a dare competition with my father, who of course made him stand in the rain for an hour while standing on his head sucking an orange. Where the hell does someone come up with that?

"Ohh, do you want me to rub some vicks on your chest?" He just raises one eyebrow at me. I smack him lightly, smiling. "Shut up. I meant to help the coughing." Ass.

"I didn't say a word." Is his response. We sit on the bed for about a half hour, watching more of this boring show, until I can take it no longer. I try to cuddle with him, to take my mind off it, but he just grunts and pushes me away, never taking his eyes off the screen.

"Seriously," I say when a commercial comes on, "What is with you and this show?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know the answer." Well that's ominous.

"You can't leave me hanging like that?! Tell me!"

"Jennifer Morrison." And that's it. I sit for a minute trying to figure out what he just said.

"I don't get it." I say at last.

"I watch this show because of her," he says like it's no big deal.

"You have a…crush on an actress?" Both of my eyebrows rise in disbelief. Is this happening?

"Is that such a bad thing? She is a beautiful woman, who is good at her craft. I especially like her in the later seasons when she dyes her hair blonde. Like House said 'You look like a stripper: I like it'."

I throw a tissue box at him.

"Bloody hell woman!"

"Are you crazy?! You can't just say stuff like that in front of me." I'm torn between being angry and really amused.

"Why ever not? I constantly have to listen to you and Red talk about the hunks of Hollywood in front of me. Why can I not admire another woman? It's not like it means anything, I love you." Ok, now I'm just amused.

I cross my arms in front of me. "I guess. So are you saying you would never leave me for her?"

"Of course not, she's with someone else as it is…"

"If she wasn't?" I question him, and he just smiles his trademark bad boy smile.

Instead of answering my question, he asks his own. "If you could leave me for any actor, who would it be?"

I don't even have to think about this one. "Colin O'Donoghue."

"Who?"

"You know, the guy from the movie _The Rite_."

"That guy?! Why him?" What he really says with his eyes is _what does he have that I don't?_ I do love jealous Killian.

"Well to start with, he is a drop dead gorgeous man," he raises his eyes to the ceiling, "He can sing, play the guitar, and he has an amazing accent." So dreamy.

"I have an amazing accent." He pouts.

"But his is Irish. I have no idea what the hell yours is."

"So you would leave me for this _Colin_ pansy?" I can't help but laugh out loud and wrap my arms around him.

"Please, I am hopelessly in love with you, we have two children together, plus Henry, and…he's married with his own kid." We both laugh at this.

"Well, lass, I'm glad that both of the people we would rather be with are unavailable." Again he starts to cough. I run my hand through his hair.

"I'm going to make you some soup. You know after you feel better, maybe we can pretend I am Jennifer Morrison and play doctor."

"I could be Colin and sing to you." At this we start to kiss, soup forgotten.

"I would leave both of you for a Klondike bar if it meant I never had to listen to you two make out ever again!" Henry screams from the next room.

**So...does anybody else think that Rumple and Hook are brothers? because that toy of Rumple's that his dad gave him looks like a sailor and hook's dad was a sailor. what if rumple's dad left him to be with his other family? hook's. and then that causes him to be unable to settle anywhere so he leaves hook also. is this a thing? i don't have a tumblr so i don't know what people are saying. anyway, that is my prediction. tell me what you think :) **


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